Hi guys, I discovered the washer dog issue about 20 minutes after posting this, but my IP crapped out so I couldn't take this any further.
I have however run into a new snag in my genius plan here. This agitator seems to be absolutely WELDED together. I've run hot water through it with my shower head, soaked it in a 5 gal bucket of hot water and this thing just will NOT come apart. I mean it's a pain in the ass to get any kind of real leverage when pulling on it, but I think I get enough of a grip to exert a significant amount of force here. Any other ideas? I'm almost to tow straps and a car to see what happens.